Well I just hit a wall with my paper on the French Revolution...and as I haven't had enough writing....a new blog entry!

I saw Feild of Dreams yesterday at my house, and it was, once again, a really powerful experience. I don't know why it touches me so much. Baseball isn't my favorite sport, I don't have any unresolved issues with my dad, and I certainly don't have a cornfeild in Iowa that talks to me. But for some reason it touches me on a spiritual level, and i always end up bawling like a little girl when I watch it. I think the major point of the movie, besides glorifying baseball, is that there is something out there beyond our understanding and more wonderful than we can imagine.

I really don't know what to make of God or what to believe anymore, but I do feel that there is something out there. I wish there were better answers than we have today, and I wish there was a way to explore the spiritual side of the world without having to deal with religious people. Religious people, especially those associated with my favorite religion...the Catholic one, espouse really scary versions of God/spirituality. Jesus seems like a good guy, but alot of the other stuff would give people the willies. There are things like people being crucified for refusing to deny abstract theological concepts, laws that don't permit people like me to be happy without condemning myself to hell, and of course Jesus coming back when you least expect it and sending lots of people to eternal punishment. It's all very depressing, and frankly far too simple and exact.

I refuse to believe that a God who has presided over a world with 10000 belief systems would set out a code of laws as exact as "don't eat pork" or "Worship me on Sunday." The answer has to be more complex for so many cultures of people to have so many different spins on the thing. I think I love movies like Feild of Dreams b/c they skirt my notion of what God is in the closest way possible without becoming too specific. They tell us to not worry because there is something watchign over us that is benevolent and beautiful.