Another day...another post...more random commentary/stories

I'm so afraid to act and make the first move (or the second move or the third move) when it comes to people. I never quite got when people wanted to be better friends/hook up/etc. unless it was expressed to me explicitly, and I think it has caused me to miss out on many things and probably still does. I guess I have this irrational fear of being rejected, and am slightly neurotic, Woody Allen style......

Crushes that will never come to fruition suck (cross-apply my earlier post on straight crushes....shit, did I just say "cross-apply").....

Many people that I know have told me that I should write fiction of some sort, some even as a result of this blog dealy. I've tried many times before, but it always comes out contrived/too directed towards some specific idea. I think that's what happens when you take too many writing/english classes. You start to believe that good literature comes from people conveying some coded message through a story. However I don't think thats what it's really about, and I don't care what the authors say afterward. Good stories and good literature are meant to touch people in ways that can't be defined by an essay or anything else, because otherwise they would've just written an essay and told you what they wanted to express rather than beating around the bush.

I also think a big thing I've been missing is honesty. I think it was Mr. Brennan back in high school who said that the reason Hitler never cut it as an artist was because he too much of a coward to expose what was inside of him in his art. Hence, he went on a minority killing and conquering-spree to cover up the demons inside. The point is, when you write or whatever, I think you have to be honest, and the last few times I've tried it I haven't been honest in expressing my feelings through my writing. I think now I finally am confident enough to do such things. So, I think I'll try once more....stay tuned.........