The blogs haven't come out as often as they used to, I realize, and that is because of papers etc. As Lyndon Johnson might have said about this situation, the blog is my one true love, but I have to spend all my time with that bitch.

Sometimes life can be very frustrating. I feel sometimes I am trapped in a repeating pattern of things, and I don't know how to get out. The same pattern of over-shyness, not meeting enough people, not working hard enough to find my niche, not handling relationships well, and putting things off come up again and again. I should have figured out now how to fix such things or how to make things easier. But often the answers are hard to figure out, and even when I do figure the answers out they are so inexplicably hard for me to get to doing. Sometimes it's just easier for all of us to stay the way we are, but often that isn't what is going to make us happy in the long run.

There is a phrase from the movie Shawshank Redemption that constantly rings in my head these days. I think it was the Morgan Freeman character who said "Get busy living or get busy dying." I think it rings so true these days because I feel like I'm letting valuable time in my life, when I could be having so many great experiences, slip away from me. This feeling is compounded by the fact that I feel like I've lost soo much time already. There have been sooo many moments in my life where I've felt like if I had done things a little differnently things would've been immensely better. I don't want to have any more of those moments. It's really time to change.