Hi all, I'm excited to be back to be your personal chronicler of Drag Race. I'm like a gay basic cable version of Venerable Bede or whoever it was that was writing Theophilus. I don't know that I've ever done a week one power ranking, but since we're on a new platform (welcome back to those of you who followed World of Dennis in the early aughts) I thought I'd show my determination to get out there early.
I thought the first episode was slightly flat, which explains the dearth of excitement I saw on twitter and Facebook for the first episode. In terms of personality, it does not seem like there is a Bianca Del Rio or Jinx Monsoon in the bunch to grab our attention. And the first challenge was an over-promise. I know we don't necessarily want to see some of the girls naked in drag, but enough of them were pretty that it would have been a positive What was totally deflating were the weird George Costanza bodysuits most of them were wearing. Don't promise me naked and bring me Body Suit Man! DENNIS IS GETTING UPSET!
I am, however, happy with the new blood in the judge's booth. Carson is great and the real life Only Gay in the Village will bring more excitement than Santino has. (Frankly, I thought Santino was a little dull.)
Anyway on to the rankings:
14.) (OUT) Tempest DuJour- Tempest, we barely knew ye, and maybe it was for the best. He had a weird Tory Spelling thing going on when he was in drag and if he ever got anywhere on the show there would be a semi-infuriating think piece on Salon.com about how his weight loss constitutes fat shaming and is actually an attack. I know we can't live our lives trying to avoid infuriating Salon think pieces but at least this puts this one out of bounds....
INFURIATING SALON THINK PIECE: ONCE AGAIN THE FIRST PERSON OFF RU PAUL'S DRAG RACE IS NOT YOUNG WHITE AND ATTRACTIVE....WHEN WILL RU PAUL BE PUT ON TRIAL FOR NOT COMBATTING PRIVILEGE
God Dammit!
13.) Sasha Belle- I was actually confused during Sasha's runway walk as she seemed to be wearing a sports bra of some sort. First of all, why do you need a sports bra?!? You're a boy! Second, how was it not clear that you had to come out naked on the runway? They actually went through the trouble of bringing out a naked Pit Crew to demonstrate that this was a naked challenge. My only explanation was that this was a strategic play to set up her tearful confession that she is a never-nude when she is on the verge of elimination a few weeks from now.
12.) Kandy Ho- Kandy jumps Sasha here because of that actually-not-bad Lipsync. Otherwise it was a train wreck. She seems extremely catty and has a terrible attitude.
11.) Trixie Mattel: If Ben Delacreme was a poor man's Jinx Monsoon, then Trixie is a homeless man's Ben Delacreme. What happens if you're supposed to be the comedy queen and nobody laughs? Believe me, I've been there and it's not pretty. Also, I may bring a jaundiced eye to Ru Paul's drag race, but I am pretty sure that that boyfriend story was made up. It all seemed very generic.
9.) (tie) Jaidynn Diore Fierce- I don't really remember much good or bad about Jaidynn. Pencil her in for a week 5-6 exit once they've eliminated the above.
9.) (tie) Kasha Davis- Ditto.
8.) Jasmine Masters- Jasmine was near the bottom this week but my experienced Ru Paul eye senses some upside with her. First, she has a great attitude and a distinctive personality, so it will be difficult to eliminate her. This is an underrated quality in life, you should at least make it hard for people to throw you overboard. It might not save you in the end but you will make it out ahead of the sourpusses and boring people. Second, I think she showed some imagination and creativity in her runway look, even if it wasn't totally successful. It was a failure but a good one, which is why Ru didn't make her sweat.
7.) Ginger Minj- As it stands she seems like a bland version of Darienne Lake. She didn't do anything to hurt herself in the first episode, though.
6.) Katya- This wasn't really Katya's week to shine. I, of course, loved the Soviet Union opening outfit and the highly developed Russian schtick. Also how could I hate a Boston girl?! I expect she'll be moving up in the rankings once she gets some screen time as she actually gave some hints that she could be funny.
5.) Pearl- Pearl had some very interesting looks and could be a strong contender. The only drawback seems to be personality, but I do think she'll threaten for the final show in a Courtney Act-esque boring way.
4.) Max- Is it me or is Max kind of interesting? His personality is hard to pin down and I find his aesthetic to be unlike anything we've seen on the show thus far. The choice to come out as a Polio victim on week one was daring and I really like it. However, if there's anyone in this top 5 that could be eliminated before the two boring queens tied for 9th, it's probably Max.
3.) Miss Fame- Like Katya, she had a strong opening volley with that purple supervillain costume in the opening. Otherwise she had strong looks and managed to get in the top three.
2.) Violet Chachki- I really wish Props Eric had been around when I saw her transform in that fall look to a Plaid Archangel of Death. I feel like there would have there would have been a full five minutes of shouting followed by the proclamation: "PLAID IS IN, HONEY!" That was really fantastic, and it was the most memorable thing about the first episode. Also, I really appreciated the nerve to go naked on national television your first time out. That shows....guts.
1.) Kennedy Davenport- First impressions are always imperfect, but my instinct is that Kennedy is the person to beat. The way she banged out all the elements effortlessly is a tell as to how much talent she has, as is the way Jasmine reacted when she entered the competition. Jasmine seemed star-struck, so clearly this is someone with some juice in real life. Last year Courtney was that person, and Kennedy seems more interesting than that finalist. So I'll declare Kennedy our week one FAVORITE.
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